Cats

• "These is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -Unknown
• "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." -Anonymous
• "Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." -Jeff Valdez
• "In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats." -English proverb
• "As every cat owner know, nobody owns a cat." -Ellen Perry Berkeley
• "One cat just leads to another.’ -Ernest Hemingway
• "Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later." -Mary Bly
• "Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I have never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." -Joseph Wood Krutch
• "People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." -Faith Resnick
• "There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." -Anonymous
• "I have studied many philosophers and many cats. They wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." --Hippolyte Taine
• "Heaven will not ever Heaven be; unless my cats are there to welcome me." -Unknown
• "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life; music and cats." -Albert Schweitzer
• "The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." -Ernest Menaul
• "Dogs believe they are human, Cats believe they are God."
• "Time spent with cats is never wasted." -Colette
• "Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil & cruel. True, & they have many other fine qualities as well." -Missy Dizick
• "You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." -Colonial American proverb
• "Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." -Joseph Wood Krutch
• "I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic."
• "My husband said it was him or the cat..I miss him sometimes."
• "Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit."

• 1. Stray cats will not be fed.
• 2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
• 3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.
• 4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
• 5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.
• 6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
• 7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
• 8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
• 9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.
• 10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y".
• 11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
• 12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.
• 13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.
• 14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
• 15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
• 16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.
• 17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
• 18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
• 19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
• 20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
• 21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non- allergenic lamb's wool pillow.
• 22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
• 23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
• 24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.
• 25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.
• 26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
• 27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
• 28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hbdm9l o9jmdskdm,.USING IT.